Gerling Parts Integration Strategy
For Choosing Emotions and Subtle Behaviors

Question:

How can I use a process of self-imagery to decide upon and bring forth helpful emotions and useful subtle behaviors in a key conversation?

The Method:

1. Think of a Key Conversation: Recall a conversation where, in the past, your emotions and subtle behaviors were not optimum for you and the other person. Put yourself in the conversation momentarily and notice how it feels.

2. Situation Image: Make a visual image of the past situation in which the conversation occurred. Observe the significant aspects of the situation, including people, objects and environment, and the details of the conversation. Notice your emotions and subtle behaviors.

3. Non-optimum Self-image One: Make an image on one side of the screen or stage of the part of you in the past that didn't have the emotions you wanted. See that image in a posture, and with movement and mood. Recognize the good intentions and positive functions of this part of you in the actual conversation as well as its deficiencies. For example, if this part of you was overly serious, such seriousness might have helped you focus on technical details or the seriousness of the other person's problem.

4. Positive Resources Self-image Two: Begin imagining how your emotions and subtle behaviors could be improved in the future. Now, on the other side of your visual screen or stage, create an image of yourself that has emotions and subtle behaviors that you want to add to that key conversation in the future. Make it positive, inspiring and motivating for you and the other person. Draw from your personal history to find an example from another context when those emotions and subtle behaviors are present in abundance. When you have the appropriate image, it will demonstrate some of the emotions and subtle behaviors to use in the conversation. Make the image independent of any particular background. Show a posture or mood to signify the emotions of that part of you. Adjust the size and closeness so you feel the proper intensity of feelings for, and with, the image.

5. Set Up Two Separate Images at Once in the Future: Make an image of an example of the situation and conversation in the future. Then put both parts on the stage just prior to the action in the situation. Sometimes it helps to put your hands out and put one image in one hand and another image in the other hand.

6. Blend the Images into a New Image of You for that Conversation: Slowly merge (or pull) the two images together, only as fast as you can allow them to contribute their helpful emotions and subtle behaviors to a combined new image. This new combined image will tend to feel differently in that conversation, in that situation.

7. Merge (or Pull) the New Image Into Your Body: As you bring the new image into your body (with or without your hands), feel yourself being whole again, with the new image a new part of you that can operate naturally in that conversation, energizing it with the qualities of the new image.

8. Test and Use the New Part of You: Picture a future conversation. See yourself perform in the conversation. If you like what you are doing over there, great! Then go back to the beginning of the conversation, put it on pause, and mentally step into the situation for a moment. Then run the movie from the inside for a few moments, conversing in the conversation. Does it feel the way you want to feel? Do you behave in the way you want to behave? If so good. If not, go back to Step 4. and repeat the steps with appropriate modifications.

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